Having too much fun?

Max, my guru, says I should just have lots of fun, build up my self-esteem and stop worrying about losing weight. This sounds like my kind of religion. Let's enjoy life to the full and worry about nothing. We all want to do it. We all believe this is the ideal. So why is it so hard to do?

Well, we've been trained to be responsible for things; for ourselves, our children, our environment, our futures. It is nearly impossible to let go of that conditioning, even if we truly wanted to. A life of hedonistic fun becomes empty without some sort of grounding. It is the grit that makes the pearl.

So, I am trying to find a comfortable balance between wild abandon and drudgery.

1. I'm trying to have some really good Jemima time every day: something I can list as a 'me' thing.
2. I'm trying to avoid all the things that make me feel crappy: like work and criticism and kids that are just in your face rude
3. I'm trying not to get too tired or stressed or hungry
4. I'm trying to spend some time with my amazing kids
5. I'm trying to have a plan for what I'm going to do next, so the adventure never goes from life.
6. I'm trying to remember that life is way too short and we should cherish every minute.
   

So far:
Friday 11th: had some 'one to one' time with my youngest
Saturday 12th: climbed a big hill and marvelled at the wonders of nature
Sunday 13th: went to a birthday party and spent time with some nice people
Monday 14th: did some writing (and didn't eat a large bag of crisps despite feeling like I wanted them after bitch of a teenager made personal comments about me. Didn't slap said teenager, either, though she really needed it and I was desperately itching to. Hope my own kids don't grow up like that.)

On the whole, a pretty good week, yes? I haven't weighed myself, more because I've been too busy, than anything else. I suspect the partying hasn't made me any slimmer, and the walk up the hill was a poor substitute for burning off the excess. Still, I'm reasonably happy, if you don't count work. I'd much rather being climbing a hill than being abused, but then, who wouldn't?