The Universe is Having a Giraffe

What the Hell is going on? I got on the scales this morning to find I have swelled to 13st 7lb. I am a baby elephant! This is despite going to the gym (again) yesterday and going swimming this morning doing 30 lengths. In fact this week I have surpassed myself in the area of doing lots of exercise, with over 4 hours of the sort of exercise that makes you out of breath, and makes your feel the muscles in your legs.

So why have I put on 5lb? This is the universe having a giraffe, isn't it? Where have I gone wrong? OK, I ate a few biscuits at work, but not that many. I did eat three slices of sponge cake yesterday too, but I peeled the icing off, because it's just too sweet for me. I did go to a fast food restaurant too, but I had a salad and the smallest pizza possible and I compensated by only having 2 small toasted teacakes for tea. What have I done to deserve this?

I really don't know. Honestly. I really don't know. I haven't pigged out. I have done lots of exercise. I don't guzzle fizzy drinks - I don't drink them at all. I did have a couple of glasses of wine though. Maybe that's it? Though I am at a bit of a loss to work out how that adds up to 5lb. The original bottle didn't weigh that much! Not even with the glass!

OK, I'm going to try an experiment this week, if I can:

No alcohol, no biscuits, no cake and no chocolate coated anything.

If I still put on weight I think the only solution will be to give up eating altogether.