Fat, Water and the Brain.

I've come to the conclusion that it is food that makes you fat. OK, OK, I know, not exactly a stunning revelation, is it.

The trouble is, I've been trying to lose weight for years by 'doing exercise' and it DOESN'T WORK. I just keep doing more and more, getting slightly heavier and heavier, and basically NOT losing weight. I swim, climb, walk for whole days; I've jogged, gymmed, aerobic-ed and pilated; I've done aqua-robics, bowling, diving, yoga, archery, kayaking, swinging from rope-swings, rowing, mountain climbing and cycling. I haven't tried bog-snorkling, but it is only a matter of time.

The frustration is, of course, that the amount of exercise physically possible becomes limited by time. Eventually, you are spending hours each week getting active and hating yourself the rest of the week for not having enough energy to exercise and THEN you think you are a fat whatsit because you didn't do enough.

So, I can't increase the exercise anymore. I am going to have to reduce the food. Therein lies a problem, well, several problems, actually. 1) I don't like feeling weak and tired because I LIKE to do lots of exercise. 2) When I get hungry, it comes on rapidly and hurts a lot, fills my tummy with wind and carries on hurting long after I have eaten. 3) I have not much will when it comes to seeing something and wanting to eat it.

The news this week has been filled with little gems about weight loss. Apparently, drinking two glasses of water before a meal fills you up and causes you to eat less. This seems like a sensible idea and it is just a matter of making it a habit. After all, I drink a fair amount of water, so this shouldn't be a problem.

On the down side, something we all knew, has now been shown to be true. Once you get fat, it is a problem to lose it again because it permanently alters your body. You keep the extra fat cells and have a higher proportion of fat to mass, even if you have lost the extra weight. That's bad news for fatties and partly explains the yo-yo dieting problem that many of us suffer from.

Far more interesting, for me, though, was reading a review of Dr David Kessler's book, The End of Overeating. Suddenly, it all seems to make sense. Food is designed to be yummy. Modern food is far more yummy now that big companies have worked out that yummy stuff sells best. Yummy stuff is energy-dense - i.e. full of fat and sugar - so even 'healthy' options end up with that in it. How many times have I winced at the amount of sugar in fat-free food?

Anyway, the eureka moment came when I read about how your brain responds to repeated pleasurable stimuli. It seems a link is made within the brain which clicks into action when it sees something it likes i.e. a large bag of crisps or a chocolate cake. Eating it, and getting nice sensations from that, re-inforces the circuit in the brain.

Once the circuit has been set off, it seems almost unstoppable. Removing the bag of crisps that you are focused on causes a kink in the circuit. You are not going to be satisfied until that kink has been resolved. THAT is where the problem lies.

Avoiding setting off the circuit has been my main defence in weight control. I don't have biscuits, cake or crisps in the house because when I see them, I eat them. When I don't see them, I rarely bother about them. If someone offers me a biscuit, I almost automatically say 'yes' and then curse myself afterwards. NOW I understand why I do that.

If I understand something, there is a chance I can start to do something about it.
Step one: Order Kessler's book.
Step two: Stick two fingers up to brain conditioning. It's my brain; I can re-wire it how I like.

Update

Day 1:
Got snippy and shakey.
Lost 3lb

Day 2:
Ate normal amount of food.
Put 3lb back on.

Sigh.

Giving Up

This week seems to be the week of giving up. I went to see Max. Naturally, I got on the scales and was exactly the same weight as I have been for the past year. I told him we need to go 'back to basics' in a kind of dodgy John Major campaign way. Let's just keep it simple, I said.

He said: I'm transferring you to someone else.

The day finally came: he gave up on me. Well, I can understand it. I don't look good on anyone's case load. I'm the girl that neither gets slimmer nor goes away. I can't help but feel rejected, just a little bit.

What have I honestly learnt during this long journey into weight loss?

1. I don't over-eat because I'm not putting on any weight.
2. I'm 'positively athletic' by general standards, based on the amount of exercise I do.
3. I don't stick to diets because they hurt and my family suffers my temper.
4. If I try to cut down on food, I end up eating more of the wrong sort of food instead.
5. I get really ratty, very quickly if I don't get enough food. Other people get to this stage when they are starving themselves. I get to it almost instantly.

So, it seems I have a few possibilities.

• I can remain large, and maintain the weight I'm at fairly easily.
• I can continue to fail at losing weight by cutting down tiny amounts at a time and hoping.
• I can stop eating altogether and just ride the wave of lethargy, pain and screaming that follows.

The only one of the three that actually includes the possibility of weight loss is the last one. So, that's the plan. I shall take paracetemol for the hunger pains and drink lots of water. A week should do it.